I’m already second-guessing myself, on No. 7, after Monday night’s vote . . .
It’s a drizzly, gloomy Saturday, but I’m having a pumpkin latte, and feeling good. So good, that I’m coming up with a Top 10 Things About the City of Ocean Shores:
1) The staff and volunteers at the Interpretive Center. This is the Rodney Dangerfield of Ocean Shores City departments. Gets no respect, and little money. Yet, second only to the ocean, this is the most popular thing visitors want to see. And to think, it was nearly closed . . . (If it wasn’t free, would the City have tried to close the ocean?)
2) Fire Department volunteers. Much respect to the professional Ocean Shores

The first “Locals Only” column of 2010 called for an investigation of the Street LID, which had grown from less than $32 million in 2007, to an estimated $40 million, at that point.
At the first City Council meeting of 2010, then-Mayor Dean Bunkers took time during his “mayor’s report” to blast the North Coast News for a few stories, including the Locals Only column questioning what went wrong with the Street LID, and demanding the investigation. “If I thought there was any culpability, I would certainly ask for an investigation,” Bunker said. He added that “any responsibility lies in the chair of my office.”
A month later, Bunkers announced his resignation, four days from the

With just a wee bit of controversy over the appeals process, of the Ocean Shores Street LID, I think it might be instructive to check in with my counterpart, Tome O’Scannlin, former editor of the Atlantis City Coastal Weekly. He obliges:

As you know, here in Atlantis City, a city-wide bridge program was financed by the Special Assessment Proportionate System, or SAPS. The highly-paid consultant Wally McWally, credited for making SAPS of all of Atlantis City,

This week’s “Locals Only” applies LID logic to dining:

Welcome to the LID Café, an upscale Ocean Shores eatery, with some progressive options and pricings, modeled after the highly successful Ocean Shores Street LID.
Let’s look in:
At table 1, an active young couple orders a “light meal.” He gets a small piece of broiled salmon, and she orders a Caesar’s Salad.
“Excellent choice,” says this table’s waiter, Mack. “Chef Pansear’s speciality.”

This week’s Locals Only column looks for volunteers to help analyze the Ocean Shores budget:

Something is not right, here . . .
We, the residents and property owners of Ocean Shores, are paying more, every year.
And receiving less.
There have been increases in property taxes in each of the last two years,  and expect another 1 percent increase for 2011. On top of that, in 2011 there will be an EMS levy of 35 cents per thousand, almost double the 19 cents per thousand in 2008 and 2009. (Statistics cited in this column from 2010 Adopted Budget)
And now the City of Ocean Shores will ask for another 22 cent levy, “to keep the Library open.”
I’m all for the Library staying open, but I have preliminary questions:
*Why do we need another levy?
*What happened (and is happening, and will happen) to the rest of the money?
*Why has Ocean Shores laid off so many employees over the last two years, and cut so many services . . . only to ask for more money from the locals?

The sports star apology once was a deeply humiliating event, for all involved. How the mighty has fallen!
Now, we’ve become accustomed to the press conference to boo-hoo over wild promiscuity, abuse of steroids and recreational drugs, or just random crime sprees.
Most recently, it was golf mega-star Tiger Woods (who, apparently, became confused and believed he was part of the Professional Girlfriends Association), before him retired baseball slugger Mark McGwire (“Um, remember those home runs I hit from here to Canada? Surprise: steroids.”). Football and basketball players, boxers . . . name any sport, and you’ll find a disgraced hero, sniffling at the microphone.

For those sure to follow, here’s an all-in-one guide that, with slight modifications, can work for any sports hero who needs to do a little explaining:

“First of all, I’d like to say that, because certain crime investigations may or may not be ongoing, I can’t go into details or answer questions.

“We cheat tourists and drunks,” promises a sign at Pat O’Shea’s Mad Hatter, an Irish bar in San Francisco.
Perhaps Ocean Shores should keep this in mind, when trying to solve the city’s woeful budget problems. Not so much that part about drunks, as they tend to have empty wallets; the tourists, that’s the treasure chest that Ocean Shores should be looting.
Here’s a few “think outside the box” (and, quite possibly, “think outside the law”) ideas to invite our visitors to help pick up the city’s operating tab:

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The recent Locals Only column on “A Cozy Fire in 1,000 Easy Steps” led to a note of caution from a reader: some (expletive) around the North Beach sold “firewood” that turned out to be driftwood. “Unfortunately, it was not green (wet) from being recently harvested, but wet and salty from spending months in the ocean.  I can think of no quicker way to end the life of a stove and metal chimney than simultaneously introducing salt and steam to their interior.  Nonetheless, some wood-seller in your community is taking advantage of those who know no better.”

Here is the column, which was roughly 3 percent helpful, 66 percent obtuse and 100 percent great kindling:
Today’s column will tell you everything you need to know about fireplaces and wood burning stoves, two

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Recent events of a highly personal nature lead me to believe that, not only is there “no free lunch,” a gratuity is expected, to boot.
My adventure begins at a chain store, where I am seduced by the concept of “0 percent interest.” This is the best offer, ever! I love it, drooling at the thought of

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And my wife has the nerve to call me “wishy washy” . . .

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